The Famed Singapore "Fish Pedicure"

I hate getting pedicures. I hate the snipping, the digging, and most of all, I hate the scraping performed by some underpaid and overworked immigrant aesthetician. Nothing at all about it seems right to me, save for the luster of chip-free toenail color that lasts for weeks on end. So imagine my sheer delight when I got a chance to have a pedicure performed by not just one underpaid aesthetician, but hundreds of un-paid aestheticians!

They're called "doctor fish" and they come to the party hungry. Starved, in fact, so that they're more productive when you arrive. Doctor fish live on dead skin - I'll pause here while you get sick - and when put in an aquarium with you and your feet, they make a meal of it, nibbling on anything from burst blisters to psoriasis. At Kenko Spa in Singapore, where I, um, "enjoyed" my first and last fish pedicure, I dipped my feet into three different aquariums: the first for little fish, the second for medium-sized fish, and the last for killer whales. If I thought I hated the feeling of scraping that comes with a normal pedicure, I could've hardly imagined the feeling of, literally, dozens and dozens of tiny sharp fish teeth gnawing and chewing on my toes, ankles, and legs. Unfortunately, they didn't bother to paint afterward, and I was left with the same chipped polish (Nars's Tango) as I had when I'd arrived.

Enjoy the video, and do pardon my swearing.